Gladiatress (2004)

IMDB rating: 4.20

Plot: This sword and sandals movie is an off-the-wall comedy adventure about three unlikely heroines, who set out to save Celtic Britain, by thwarting the Roman invasion in their own unique and outrageous style.

La Femme Musketeer (2004)

IMDB rating: 5.50

Plot: 1660. The France is being lacerated by the struggle between the king and the cardinal, each of them is having its own army: cardinal controls guardians, and the musketeers are loyal to the king. Legendary swordsman Jacques D’Artagnan’s best days may be well behind him, he has schooled his daughter Valentine (Susie Amy) well in the way of the sword. Now it’s time for Valentine to strike out on her own. With her father’s sword and a letter of introduction to Commander Flint (Roy Dotrice), the eager young novice sets out to seek her fortune in Paris.

Streets of Blood (2009)

IMDB rating: 0.00

Plot: A police officer’s partner has died during Hurricane Katrina, but he later discovers that his partner may have been murdered. An investigation follows, taking the officer and his new partner into the depths of the criminal underworld.

Gladiatress (2004)

IMDB rating: 4.20

Plot: This sword and sandals movie is an off-the-wall comedy adventure about three unlikely heroines, who set out to save Celtic Britain, by thwarting the Roman invasion in their own unique and outrageous style.

Fire Down Below (1997)

IMDB rating: 4.30

Plot: EPA agent Jack Taggart is Stunned to hear from his boss Phil Pratt that his best friend and fellow agent Frank Elkins has been found dead in Kentucky after Frank’s truck plunged into a river. The Kentucky State Police believes that it was an accident, but the EPA believes it was no accident. It all began with an anonymous letter from the small town of Jackson, Kentucky. Frank was sent to Jackson to investigate what the letter described as some kind of pollution that is causing fish to die and causing people to get sick enough to die. Frank sent back water and soil samples that all tested off the charts for toxic substances. After Frank discovered that the Hanner Coal Company, owned by Orin Hanner Sr., is being paid to dump toxic waste into an abandoned coal mine shaft, Frank ended up dead. Jack is assigned to go to Jackson, where his contact will be Reverend Bob Goodall, who runs a church in Jackson. After arriving in Jackson, Jack finds out that he’ll be staying in a room in the church’s basement, and as Jack’s contact, of course Bob knows that Jack will be going undercover as a carpenter. Jack begins by repairing the roof at a house where he meets Henry Carr, his wife, and his kids Edie, Alberta, Christine, and Walter. Walter is sick because of the pollution. That night, Hanner’s son Orin Hanner Jr., also known as Junior, spies on the church along with corrupt Sheriff Lloyd, who is on Hanner’s payroll. On the next day, when Jack goes into downtown Jackson, he meets Betsy Hamill and her twin sister Patsy Hamill. Jack then walks down the street and introduces himself to Cotton Harry. Then Jack takes some water samples. At church on Sunday, Bob introduces Jack to everyone, and tells everyone that Jack is a carpenter. During lunchtime at the church, Jack introduces himself to Sarah Kellogg, a local outcast who is a beekeeper. Sarah has a brother named Earl. Jack goes to Sarah’s house and offers to repair the steps on her front porch. Over time, Jack comes to believe that something is bothering Sarah, and it’s something dark. Jack wants to save her from whatever it is, while trying to bring Hanner and his crew down.

Lookout, The (2007)

IMDB rating: 7.40

Plot: An admired high school hockey player (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) with a bright future foolishly takes a drive in the night with his girl friend and two other friends with his headlights off with devastating results. The former athlete is left with a brain injury that prevents him from remembering many things for extended periods of time. To compensate, he keeps notes in a small notebook to aid him in remembering what he is to do. He also lives with a blind friend (Jeff Daniels) who aids him. Obviously, with the mental incapacitation, he is unable to have meaningful work. Thus he works as a night cleaning man in a bank. It is there he comes under the scrutiny of a gang planning to rob the bank. The leader (Matthew Goode) befriends him and gets him involved with a young woman (Isla Fisher) who further reels him in. After they get close and after reeling him in with his own failures, the bank plan unfolds. Confused but wanting to escape his current existence, he initially goes along with the scheme. After realizing he is being used, he attempts to stop the robbery, which of course immediately goes awry. Bruce McGill and Alberta Watson also co-star as the young man’s parents, who still search for the person that was there before the tragic crash.

Gladiatress (2004)

IMDB rating: 4.20

Plot: This sword and sandals movie is an off-the-wall comedy adventure about three unlikely heroines, who set out to save Celtic Britain, by thwarting the Roman invasion in their own unique and outrageous style.

Unfaithfully Yours (1984)

IMDB rating: 5.80

Plot: Claude Eastman, is a composer and conductor. He is married to Daniella, who is half his age. While away on a trip he told his Italian driver, Giuseppe, to tell his friend Norman to keep an eye on her, or take care of her. But his english is not too good, so Norman thought he was saying that Claude wanted him to hire a private eye to keep tabs on her. Which he did. Claude tells him that it’s ok but the man Norman hired gives him his report and it says something happened while he was away. Claude, of course, tells him to throw it away but after Norman leaves, Claude tries to retrieve it and tries to read it but Daniella’s there, when Giuseppe destoys it, he goes to the man Norman hired to get a copy. He tells Claude that a man went into his apartment while he was away and left at an unusual hour, and that he also has a video. Claude tells him to destroy it but shortly after leaving returns so that he can watch it. Now the video’s a little fuzzy but clearly he can see that the man wears a particular type of clothing. Claude goes around checking every man he knows to see if they wear that clothing. He discovers that Max, his protege and a ladies man wears it. After confronting Daniella, she is harboring a secret but not what Claude thinks it is, so when she tells Claude that it’s no big thing, Claude freaks out, and is planning to kill her and frame Max but an unforeseen circumstance disrupts the perfect plan he dreamed up.

National Lampoon’s ‘Pledge This!’ Naughty Version (2006)

IMDB rating: 1.60

Plot: Victoria English (Paris Hilton) is the wealthy and snobbish president of Gamma Gamma sorority of South Beach University in Miami, Florida. When Victoria learns that FHM Magazine is nominating them for “Best Sorority of the Year” with her being on the front cover of the next issue, Victoria plots to have more “diverisifed” co-eds pledge her sorority to integrate her all-blond and wealthy sorority. One of Victoria’s pledges, Kristen Haas (Sarah Carter), suggests her ex-friend Gloria (Paula Garces) to pledge and who brings along six of her misfit dorm mates whom include; DJ spinner Monique; an Indian exchange student nicknamed PooPoo; divorcee Kathy, whom is seeking to relive her youth by going back to college; fat Southern belle Maxine; weird goth girl Babs; and suicide-chick Tonya. The seven pledges are force to go through the most outrageous initiations to be accepted. But when they learn that it was all an act, Gloria teams up with Victoria’s boyfriend, Derek, to settle the score.

Miracle Maker, The (2000)

IMDB rating: 7.20

Plot: This animated feature-length life of Jesus boasts a stellar pedigree. Originally a BBC Wales production, it showcases the voices of some of Britain’s finest actors in any medium: Ralph Fiennes as a brooding and humble Jesus, Miranda Richardson as Mary Magdalene, Richard E. Grant as John the Baptist and David Thewlis as Judas. The lovely, flute-heavy score is by Oscar-winner Anne Dudley (The Full Monty). And clearly a lot of expense has gone into the Claymation-like animation. But while it’s hard to find fault with the rendering of this familiar story—it is respectful and definitely done, you might say, by the Book—it would have been nice if there had been a tad more joy, if it walked a bit lighter in its sandals. As it is, all the characters seem consistently subdued, whether they are expressing angst, rage, terror or bliss—none of which is helped by the figures’ blank-eyed stares (if animators are becoming ever more sophisticated, why can’t they get rid of those creepy blank gazes once and for all?). Still, the weight of having such formidable actors play these familiar roles lends the production a certain credibility, and parents looking for good religious videos that won’t insult their kids’ intelligence will be thrilled.